Absurd NFL Trade Offers for NFL's Most Untouchable Stars in 2022

Love is in the air. Sometimes an NFL team can fall hard for certain performers knowing full well they're unattainable.

To paraphrase the saintly Alanis Morissette, "It's like meeting the player of my dreams and then seeing his beautiful life [with another franchise]."

It's not ironic, though. It's unfortunate for those who are forced to face these elite talents on a regular basis.

Yet the daydreaming of having them on the team shouldn't stop. No one ever thought Tom Brady would play for anyone other than the New England Patriots. Granted, the G.O.A.T. left via free agency. But a general manager's job is to pursue every avenue to improve his team by inquiring about the availability of any player, even those considered untouchable. 

San Francisco 49ers general manager John Lynch took a shot only to be quickly rebuffed when he explored the possibility of trading for Tom Brady two years before the quarterback left the Northeast. The example epitomizes the "It never hurts to ask" approach.

The following players aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Still, it doesn't hurt to think about the possibilities of them playing elsewhere just in case their current franchise decides to do something drastic. Some may call this fantasy. Others will look at it as due diligence by potential suitors.

Cue Vince McMahon's theme song. 

No chance. No chance in hell. You've got...no chance. No chance in hell. 

Wait, who's that strutting like a peacock into the arena? Bah Gawd! That's Daniel Snyder.

The owner of the Washington Commanders always has his eye on marquee acquisitions. In his first full offseason with the organization, Snyder signed aging veterans Bruce Smith and Deion Sanders. He wants the headlines as much as he does winning on the field.

No bigger move can be made than trying to pry the game's best quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, from the Kansas City Chiefs. Washington clearly has a significant need behind center, but Snyder & Co. would have to move heaven and earth and then some for Kansas City to even consider the possibility.

At 26 years old, Patrick Mahomes is the present and future of professional football. He's already redefined how we evaluate and what's required of the quarterback position. He's been named a league MVP, Super Bowl MVP, NFL Offensive Player of the Year and four-time Pro Bowl selection in his first four seasons as a full-time starter.

In turn, the Chiefs made Mahomes the highest-paid player in NFL history when the quarterback signed a 10-year, $450 million contract extension last offseason. Surprisingly, the Chiefs could theoretically move Mahomes by trading him after June 1 and only endure a $6.3 million salary-cap hit this coming season (with the same number over the next two years and $4.3 million in 2025).

To go big here would require so much from Washington. Mahomes is worth 10 first-round picks, but the Commanders can only trade their next four on draft night (draft picks past 2025 can't be dealt this offseason). So Washington would have to find a way to acquire six more first-round picks over the next four drafts with the intention to trade those to Kansas City.

Is he worth all that? And more.

Running back Derrick Henry is the heart and soul of the Tennessee Titans. At 6'3" and 247 pounds, he is simply built differently than any other back in the game, and it shows with his production. 

Since becoming the Titans' workhorse in 2018, Henry has carried the ball 1,115 times for 5,563 yards and 55 touchdowns during the regular season. He led the NFL in rushing during the 2019 and '20 campaigns and earned an NFL Offensive Player of the Year nod. 

Henry is the most physically dominating back the NFL has seen since Adrian Peterson became the NFL MVP during the 2012 campaign.

"He wears your ass out," an NFC scout told ESPN's Jeremy Fowler prior to the 2021 campaign. "He's a train."

The 28-year-old back did miss nine games this past season with a Jones fracture. Eventually, he returned for the postseason. No one should question Henry's durability since he's built like a tank. Even so, he'll break down eventually. Who maximizes his final seasons as a lead back should be interesting. 

The Titans know what they have in Henry. He's a rare runner who dictates an entire offensive game plan and how defenses react. Conversely, the Titans may want to concentrate more on their talented wide receiver corps when the squad can still get good production out of other backs. Obviously, no one can replace Henry, but the unit's identity doesn't need to completely change, as the Titans learned over the second half of the 2021 campaign.

Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh Steelers are without a quality starting quarterback and a viable run game. Pittsburgh has finished among the bottom four in rushing yardage in each of the last four seasons. Plus, Henry looks like the big, physical, snarling ball-carrier that defined Steelers football for so long.

By building around a combination of Henry and Najee Harris, the Steelers can become a run-dominant team as they try to develop a young quarterback. Considering Henry's age, base salary of $12 million and last season's injury history, one first-round pick may be all it takes to once again feature a hard-nosed ground-and-pound attack.

The Los Angeles Rams' Cooper Kupp just pieced together the finest season by a wide receiver in NFL history. 

In 21 games, Kupp caught 178 passes for 2,425 yards and 22 touchdowns on his way to become a receiving triple-crown winner, unanimous first-team All-Pro, NFL Offensive Player of the Year and Super Bowl MVP. 

"I just feel so undeserving of all these awards and accolades," Kupp told reporters after the Rams' Super Bowl LVI victory. "I'm able to play from a place of freedom, and I have great teammates around me."

The idea of him going elsewhere after such a run is unfathomable. 

Detroit Lions general manager Brad Holmes knows all about what Kupp can do after previously serving as the Rams' director of college scouting when the organization chose the wide receiver in the third round of the 2017 NFL draft. 

These two franchises made the move of the offseason last year when the Rams lured Matthew Stafford to the City of Angels and sent Jared Goff, a pair of first-round selections and a third-round pick to Detroit. The familiarity won't give Detroit an edge in this instance.

However, the Rams went all-in this season to win a title and they did. Now, the organization must deal with the fact it's already in the red for the 2022 salary-cap projection and lacks a first-round pick until 2024.

Should this sway Los Angeles to move Kupp? Of course not. But a post-June 1 deal would provide instant savings of over $14 million while also rebuilding the team's war chest of draft assets.

Detroit can suggest shipping the Rams' original first-round pick in 2023, as well as the Lions' in the same draft, in an appeal to add the best pass-catcher in the world to the league's worst wide receiver corps.

Once upon a time, the New York Giants thought they drafted a "generational talent" with the second overall pick in the 2018 NFL draft. 

They were wrong. 

To be fair, Saquon Barkley became the 2018 NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year. But Quenton Nelson was the real unicorn in that class.

Even at the time of Barkley's selection, discussions raged about the worth of investing such a high draft pick on a running back, even one as talented as Barkley. The running back's career has careened off the tracks, as the 25-year-old has dealt with injuries over the last three seasons. Availability is a very big part of the rationale against drafting the position so highly because ball-carriers take so much punishment.

Like most running backs, interior blockers aren't valued as highly as other positions. Nelson broke the mold.

After the Giants passed on the guard prospect, the Indianapolis Colts chose him with the sixth overall pick. Since then, he's developed into one of the game's most dominant offensive linemen, continually created highlight-reel-worthy blocks and earned the distinction of being named to three first-team and one second-team All-Pro teams.

The Giants can right this mistake by making a move for the New Jersey native. New York is already poised to spend significant assets on the offensive line after fielding one of the league's worst units in 2021. New general manager Joe Schoen claims a pair of top-10 picks that can be used to entice a Colts franchise in serious need of a quarterback upgrade since Carson Wentz's future with the organization is "bleak," according to ESPN's Chris Mortensen (h/t Pro Football Focus' Ari Meirov).

By trading him, the Colts wouldn't have to make Nelson the game's highest-paid guard and could invest more money into the quarterback position. The Giants would have to surrender a quarterback's ransom to land Nelson, including this year's fifth overall pick and a future first-rounder with a couple of later-round picks thrown into the mix.

What's the reversal of "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?" Whatever it is, the Cincinnati Bengals should pursue that route after all-world defensive tackle Aaron Donald wrecked their Super Bowl dreams.

Donald is the best player in professional football regardless of position. He's the best defensive player since the likes of Lawrence Taylor, Reggie White and Deion Sanders took the field. In the biggest moment of his career, Donald made the biggest play of his life to secure the first championship of his career.

On a team that features Matthew Stafford, Cooper Kupp, Odell Beckham Jr., Von Miller and Jalen Ramsey, Donald is the headlining superstar as a three-time NFL Defensive Player of the Year—he should have more of those awards but greatness fatigue seems to have set in—and seven-time first-team All-Pro.

To fully understand Donald's consistent greatness, he's graded above a 90 (on a scale of 100) every single season he's been a professional, per Pro Football Focus' Ari Meirov.

The 30-year-old may retire before the Rams ever consider moving him.

The Bengals had everything they needed to win Super Bowl LVI...except for passable offensive line play. Donald tore through the group on his way to an all-time great performance. Most will look to the offensive trenches as the biggest need, and they would be right. The position should be addressed this offseason with gusto.

At the same time, Cincinnati's defensive front didn't get enough credit for how well it performed, even without an injured Larry Ogunjobi. Ogunjobi is a pending free agent, and Donald would be the upgrade of all upgrades at 3-technique. The Bengals can give the Rams a salary reprieve by taking on $14.3 million of Donald's contract with a post-June 1 deal while providing at least a Khalil Mack-like return with at least two future first-round picks and a few more spare parts thrown into the mix.

Instead of worrying solely about addressing a weakness, the Bengals can build upon a strength whether or not Donald is available. (He's not.)

The Watt brothers could be reunited in the desert if the Arizona Cardinals pull off the impossible and acquire T.J. Watt from the Pittsburgh Steelers.

As the reigning NFL Defensive Player of the Year and back-to-back league-leader in sacks, T.J. Watt has surpassed his brother in terms of overall profile, though the younger sibling is still two DPOTY awards behind elder brother, J.J. Watt.

According to ESPN Cleveland's Tony Grossi, J.J. didn't want to sign with the Pittsburgh Steelers and play with his brothers when the Houston Texans released him last offseason. But the report was never confirmed. Furthermore, Watt turns 33 later this year and may never get an opportunity to play alongside his brothers in the NFL.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are in dire need of a quarterback. The Cardinals happen to have a disgruntled quarterback at the moment. Sources recently described Kyler Murray to ESPN's Chris Mortensen as "self-centered, immature and someone who points fingers." A restart at the game's most important position wouldn't be optimal for Arizona. But the opportunity to bring back a true defensive difference-maker can't be overlooked.

Murray is a special talent. He displays some of the best natural talent of anyone at the position. If he had an opportunity to play in a place like Pittsburgh with an established culture and well-respected head coach in Mike Tomlin, the 24-year-old could thrive and develop into one of the game's best.

The Cardinals are up against the salary cap, so a straight trade may not be preferable, as Watt's cap hit is at least $27 million for every year through 2025. The Steelers would eat $28.5 million of T.J. Watt's contract this year, but they could afford that because Murray's salary-cap charge would be under $6 million if traded. In essence, the combined cap hits of Murray and Watt would still be less than eight teams will pay their starting quarterbacks during the 2022 campaign.

Parting with Watt won't be easy, but the chance to get a franchise quarterback, who has yet to reach his prime years, would make such a trade far more palatable.